I had no idea a book could provide a ray of hope – books have always been my solace, my escape from reality, my guideposts and friends. But this book “The Fertile Female: How the Power of Longing for a Child Can Save Your Life and Change the World” with it’s ambitious title brought back some magic to my barren life
As I tried to get over the dramas of IVF failure and the horrors of it all, I felt a sense of restlessness. I was in search of something, a missing clue to give me hope, not an empty promise or a magical fix. I had decided to stay well and truly away from all fertility blogs, forums and instagrams. I just wanted to remove myself from all that noise and find my own signal – my very own ray of hope. On accident or perhaps a random recall from such blogs led me back to “Fertile Heart“, the author Julia Indichova’s website. I read and watched every video I could and I knew that I had to buy both her books and read them from cover to cover – yes, perhaps I was in search of another “Fertility Wizard” but something about the blog posts and the testimonials felt different, genuine.
And then the magic began..almost surreal and still gives me goosebumps. On my train ride to work, I downloaded the sample chapters for the Fertile Female book and read every word with a growing sense of hope. But as reality slowly made it’s way in, I defaulted to feeling morose and wondering how on earth in Sydney, Australia can one gather their snowflakes and hope for snowfall. And right then, out of thin air an old man in the seat next to me turned a shopping bag he had and on bold print it said “Expect Snow”. I was so amazed, I thought I was dreaming and even though I felt like a total creep doing this: I took a photo of the man and the bag just to prove to myself I wasn’t hallucinating. As I sat there in stunned disbelief, wondering what my snowflakes would be: a woman stood right in front of me with a bag that had Yoga poses on it. It was almost like someone was sending a very obvious symbol: I needed to practice Yoga – I continued my surreal questionnaire in a dream like state: what my husband need to do to restore his faith? He has been truly turned off by this process and has switched himself off – and a woman walked by me with a bag, this time with the symbol of Lord Ganesha. At this point, in a state of complete shock and almost shivering I texted my husband and told him I’d share what happened to me in person – no text could ever do justice to such magic
That night, as I narrated the entire incident along with photo proofs I convinced my completely pessimistic husband to purchase and e-book off Amazon from his account. Given we had spent thousands of dollars, even a few dollars related to Infertility would normally bring a frown to his face: but he obliged. And instead of downloading the Fertile Female, he accidentally downloaded “Inconceivable“: Julia’s first book – the magic continued to happen – almost in tears, I knew I had to read both books and for over the next 2 months I have been reading and re-reading chapters: trying to discard this as yet another book or books – but deep down, I knew it was time for action, this was my missing clue
And now, through this blog, by practicing every word and paragraph of the book; I am going to re-learn to believe in miracles, try and restore my hope and document how the magic unfolds….